While alone and relaxed spend some time considering your attitude towards yourself, others, and how you relate to others.
- I am imperfect.
- Change is possible.
- I can make decisions to direct my own growth.
- Therefore, I can get better.
Consider the truth that you are imperfect. We are all imperfect. We have imperfect knowledge, imperfect awareness, imperfect skills. This leads us to hurt others. When is the last time you hurt someone? On accident? On purpose? If you cannot recall anything to mind, you may be confused about your own perfection. An inability to admit fault is a critical impediment to escaping loneliness, among many other things. Refusing to admit fault may help avoid a certain kind of inner judgement, but it will render us unable to learn from our mistakes. For those who are lonely, it can mean they remain lonely. It is vital to admit fault, which is only possible if one accepts their imperfect nature.
We must recognize that we are not perfect, that we make mistakes both in what we do and what we don’t do, and that these mistakes can and do hurt those around us. Perhaps other people often respond poorly to us, as was the case for me years ago. This is distressing, but it is not an impossible situation so long as we are able to accept that we have some areas that need work and change.
Our mistakes can hurt ourselves, too. When is the last time you hurt yourself? On accident? On purpose? The point is not to judge or blame, the point is to be aware of the truth. The truth is that no one ought to suffer. Suffering is often unavoidable, but there is no sense is causing it.
However much suffering we may have caused others or ourselves we can always learn and do it better in the future. We are imperfect, but we can grow, learn, and change such that we hurt less and cause others to hurt less.
The process of escaping loneliness will involve confronting parts of ourselves that are unskilled, confused, and otherwise imperfect. It is possible to do this only when we accept that we are by our nature imperfect. We should not expect to be perfect. When we have a sensible attitude towards our limited nature we can look inward, see clearly, and use that non-judgmental clarity to make better decisions in the future. Perhaps we did not know enough in the past, but we can learn more, and approach the future with more wisdom and skill.